


i'll get you lost (but i'm having fun)

by atomicstandard



Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, F/F, Fashion Designer Juls, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Musician Val
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2020-10-04 11:51:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20470577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomicstandard/pseuds/atomicstandard
Summary: Valentina Carvajal is a musician struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction. After she lands a Grammy nomination for Best New Artist, her family decides it’s time to intervene and help her clean her image, by any means possible.Juliana Valdés’ life as a fashion design student couldn’t get more hectic when she gets picked to represent her school on a competition to dress la “Princesa Rebelde de México”.





	1. uno

**Author's Note:**

> i swear this au wouldn't leave me alone

The last note of the song vibrated in her chest as she watched the audience cheer and scream how much they love her, she even had gifts thrown at the stage, flowers, letters, she even saw a couple of teddy bears fly in her direction.

"Good night, Ciudad de México. Thank you so much for being here! I hope we'll be seeing each other soon!" she bowed when the audience clapped and then threw kisses at them.

Her hands started shaking the moment she stepped out of the stage; her sister had been in the audience this time and it was the first time she saw her in months. Some stuff had happened over the course of her tour so she was sure Eva was going to give her a lecture on decency or whatever.

It was times like these that she missed her mother the most, she always knew what to do, and more importantly, she was the only one that could control Eva’s wrath.

Her mom had also been the first person to tell her she had a pretty voice back when she was a kid. Now, she gets it all the time, from critics, fans, friends. It doesn’t really matter to her though, the only person whose approval she craves isn’t there anymore.

“Today’s set was wonderful, Vale.” There she was.

Eva had assumed the role of a mother figure for her brother and her after their mom died. She had been only fourteen at the time, but the sight of her six-year-old sister crying her eyes out every night for her mom had made her step up (God knows her father didn’t seem to want to). Ever since then, she’d become a colder, calculating, and bitter shell of who she’d been.

“Thank you”, she said softly, “would you have told me if it hadn’t been?”

“Valentina.” Eva used that disapproving tone with her all the time, it meant that she didn’t deem appropriate to have that conversation yet, or ever. She never had time for Valentina’s thoughts anymore. “I know you must be tired from traveling and performing today so, I just wanted to tell you that I’m really proud of you. Come to the office tomorrow, yeah? Guille and I have some things to tell you”.

Val licked her lips and nodded, “Okay. See you later, Evangelina”.

* * *

Valentina loved her fans, she really did. But tonight, she just didn’t have the energy to put on a smile and take pictures with them.

As she stepped out the backdoor of the venue, she felt a chill crawl up her spine; even though she was wearing a thick coat, the late November chill was enough to make her shiver. She waited for Alirio to show up, she had asked him to pick up some things for her while she performed.

“Niña Valentina?”, her driver tried to get her attention.

“Yeah?”, she answered distractedly.

“I have what you asked for”, he handed her a paper bag, “where will I be taking you?”, he asked as he opened the door for her.

“To my place. I don’t feel like going out tonight”. Alirio nodded and got in the car. "Would you like to listen to some music?"

"The radio is fine", she told him. "How's your wife? I know she's been sick for a couple of days; does she need anything?"

Alirio and Rosario had been part of her family since she could remember, they’d taken care of her and her siblings along with the house’s staff when their mom (and now dad) died.

“She’s getting better, I think, she says it’s just a cold but you know how stubborn she can be”.

Valentina chuckled, “I do know”.

They chatted animatedly the whole ride to Valentina’s. She hadn’t been home in months and she was seriously craving a hot bath, and her bed, and Chivis’ quesadillas. Hopefully she would get to have all three of them, if Chivis guessed what her ‘favorite homemade meal’ was when she sent Alirio for dinner at the Carvajal mansion.

Her eyes were almost closed when Alirio pulled into the building’s parking lot. “Have a good night, niña.”

Valentina smiled, “You too, Alirio”.

* * *

Valentina walked to her sister’s office at Grupo Carvajal. She didn’t really like the vibes this last-minute meeting gave her. She could tell her siblings were going to meddle in her life, she just hoped whatever they had planned wasn’t too bad.

“Vale, I’m glad you could make it in time”, said Eva, smiling brightly at her as she approached her.

“Yeah, I didn’t have much choice in the matter”, she sassed. Her relationship with Eva was a little uncomfortable sometimes, especially when they discussed matters about her career. She had always felt like her sister resented her because her father had let her pursue a musical career but had forced Eva to go to business school so she could take over the family empire.

“Okay, I don’t want to take too much of your precious time”, her sister looked at her with the expression she wore when she thought she had had the brightest idea since electricity, “let’s just wait until Guille gets here”.

“Okay, whatever”.

A few minutes of awkward silence later, Guille showed up with a briefcase and a hesitant smile. “Hola, hermanita”.

“Hey”, she greeted him.

“Alright, Vale, as you might know, the Grammy nominations are out Monday”.

“Oh yeah, I did know, what about it?”, she really did not want to discuss this with her sister.

Her last album had been loved by the public and critics alike, everyone seemed to know her name during the following months of its release. It seemed that the Recording Academy had its eyes on her at the moment.

“Well, rumor has it, you will be one of the nominees this year”.

“Yes, that’s a good thing!”, her siblings looked at her with matching grimaces, “What?”

“Val, you’ve been involved in too many scandals this year, a prestigious nomination like this could help clean up your name, but it will not be enough”. Guillermo couldn’t look his sister in the eye while he said it.

“They’ll be judging my music, not my morality”, said Valentina, she didn’t understand what this situation was about, her hard work would finally be recognized!

“Yeah, but you’re one scandal away from being blacklisted!” Eva raised her voice, “You’re not a child anymore, Valentina, neither are you a straight man to get away with all the bullshit you pull”.

“Okay damn”, she couldn’t go against that logic. “What are we going to do?”

“We’ve been working with your PR team and we came up with some very good strategies”, Guillermo smiled at her.

“The PR guys came up with the idea of a contest. At first, they thought that you should take the winner as your plus one for the ceremony, but we know how much you’d hate that, so we settled on something that we think is better”, Guille explained to her.

“Right, and you didn’t think it might be a good idea to ask me?”, she rolled her eyes.

Eva gave her looked at her with what Valentina labelled her best mom glare. “We want what’s best for you”.

“Whatever, just tell me what we’re going to do”.

“We’re doing a contest, we want an amateur to dress you for the awards”, Valentina’s breath hitched but Eva continued with her explanation “We’ve reached out to numerous fashion design institutes around the globe and almost all of them are willing to participate”.

“Do I have a say in this?”, she didn’t exactly like this idea but if it meant that Eva was going to get off her back for a while then fine, by all means.

“Not really”, Guille clicked his tongue, “they’ve already started with the preparations, first step is design, you’ll get to pick which one you like the best and then you’ll work with the lucky kid”.

“Okay, how about we wait until the nominations are out? What if I’m not actually nominated? That’d be embarrassing.” Her siblings were getting way ahead of themselves.

“You will be! We have the utmost confidence in you, Vale!” both of them smiled at her, she could tell they meant it.

“Yeah, okay. You guys up for lunch? My treat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this happened... look i'm as surprised as you that this is a thing now
> 
> if you want to yell at me or something,,,,, don't
> 
> but i accept love letters at _julesvaughn on tw and julianavaldcs on tumblr


	2. dos

“Do you think this color is okay or should I redo the whole thing?”

“Wey, the deadline is tomorrow; you have no time, but even if you did, the dress is already gorgeous.” Juliana rolled her eyes; Tina could be a pain in the ass when she was stressed. “We’re supposed to be perfecting the last details. Dude, you should’ve finished these days ago! I told you not to take that stupid textile workshop; we literally had the same class last year! And it was free!”

“Oh, shut up, miss perfect. Not all of us can recall every single kind of fabric known to man like you do.” Tina stuck her tongue out. “We really need a break,” she stretched her arms and yawned, “do you want to order pizza?”

Juliana considered it for a moment, was it smart to waste money on pizza a week before she got her next quincena? Hell yeah it was. “Yeah, just don’t order that gross onion one, I’m sick of it.”

“You’re literally tasteless, but I get it: you lived among gringos for most of your life.” Tina never failed to make fun of her for literally any reason, she was especially fond of digging up her ‘yeehaw past’, as she’d so graciously baptized it.

She never really had friends before Tina. They met on the first day of fashion school, both of them had been lost, but the difference had been the way they had reacted to that predicament. Juliana was freaking out outside of the administration building, the little map they’d given her didn’t make any sense and it was five minutes until her first class started, she had always been punctual for everything and being late for the first day of the rest of her life didn’t seem like a good omen; Tina had witnessed Juliana’s little crisis and decided they would be lost together. They hadn’t left each other’s side since then.

Back when she lived in San Antonio, the girls she went to school with avoided her like the plague, they thought she was too weird, too poor, too different from them because she wore old patched clothes and had parents that didn’t speak a word of English beyond ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’.

They left her alone and she grew into that loneliness, she learned to notice things, to read individuals and groups of people. She created her own categories for them: doers and dreamers. She had deemed herself a dreamer, someone who had big ideals and expectations that would never become a reality.

Or so she’d thought on the nights she laid on the couch that served as a bed for her in the old trailer she used to share with her emotionally absent mother and abusive father in a remote trailer park somewhere on the outskirts of San Antonio. Now, she lived in a nice apartment with her own comfortable bed and a fantastic view of Ciudad de México in the company of the only friend she’d ever had.

“Hey, who do you think will get to direct this year’s show?”

Their school hosted a fashion show at the end of every year, and a fourth-year student always directed it. It had been Juliana’s dream ever since she first learned about it to be the one to direct it. She thought it would be an amazing experience and she really wished she got chosen for it.

“I don’t know, anyone but that idiot Xavier.” Juliana rolled her eyes. Xavier had become her nemesis over the last three and a half years; he seemed to think he was better than anyone and everyone, he talked over their professors and carried himself with an arrogance than could only mean he was incredibly stupid or that he actually believed himself to be the greatest thing to happen to the Mexican fashion scene. Juliana thought it was both, but that was just her personal opinion.

“God anyone but his crusty ass.” Her friend agreed. “He’s so pretentious! Who the hell changes the spelling of their name to sound fancier? Fuck him, Javier va con J, this is México.” Okay, if there was anyone who disliked Xavier more than Juliana did, it had to be Tina.

Juliana laughed and shook her head; she could always rely on Tina for a good laugh. “Wey, how much for the pizza?”

“It’s okay, I’ve got it, you paid for sushi last week.” Tina said distractedly while she messed with her phone.

“Sure, whatever.” Juliana sewed the last piece of fabric she had left. “Done!”

“Of course you’re done”, her friend didn’t look up from her phone. “Hey, you remember that concert I went to last week?”

“Yeah, you haven’t shut up about it since it happened”. Tina had gone to some indie girl’s concert on Thursday with some of their classmates, they came back with glitter in their hair and hoarse voices. Juliana had been invited but she had declined, opting to spend some well deserved me time at home.

“Okay well, you know, this girl is like super famous now, and people are saying she might be nominated for a couple of Grammys this year!” It was in Tina’s nature to be overly excited about everything, even if it had nothing to do with her.

“That’s nice, why do we care?” She asked as she carefully put her newly finished design in a secure location.

“She’s a woman! A Mexican woman, we have to support her! Sorority and all that. Also, she’s my favorite artist ever”.

“I thought that Rosalía girl was your favorite?” she asked, waving her arm over her head when she said the artist’s name.

“That was last week”. She waved her hand dismissively. “Here, listen to this song, I know you’ll love it”.

The song started and a soft, captivating voice filled Juliana’s ears. The singer sang about begging and velvet tongues and Juliana’s felt a shiver run down her spine. Her voice blended amazingly with the music and okay, maybe Tina was onto something with this woman.

Her friend looked at her with an expectant smile.

“I like it”, she said after the song was over.

“You loved it and you know it, ‘thank you, T, for showing me what good music actually is, you’re my savior’”, she said in a terrible impression of Juliana.

“I do _not_ sound like that!”, she protested.

“You so do. Miss norteña, you…”, the intercom of their apartment beeped, announcing their pizza’s arrival “oooh I’ll get it!”

Juliana sighed; it was good to not be alone anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little on the shorter side but i wanted to give y'all a little intro to juliana's character, i hope y'all liked it 
> 
> if you want to yell at me,you can do it at  
tumblr: julianavaldcs  
twitter: _julesvaughn  
  
also a big shout out to cirie-reyes and siciliano13 on tumblr, the two kind souls who beta'd this for me <3


	3. tres

She found out about her three GRAMMY nominations by someone jumping on her bed.

“Val, did you see?” A male voice called on top of her. _Guille_.

Valentina groaned and tried to pushed him off of her. “Ugh. How did you get into my house? And what in the hell are you talking about?” She asked, irritated.

“The nominations are out!” He screamed in her ear.

That woke her up. “Holy shit! Did I get any?” She asked.

Guillermo smiled at her, nodding “I tried to wait until I got here, but I heard about it on the radio!” 

Valentina grabbed her phone from where it resided on the floor: it seemed to have vibrated itself off the nightstand. She had thirty missed calls from Eva, fourteen texts from Guille, and thousands of mentions on twitter, but there was only one notification she cared about: an email from the _Recording Academy_.

> _THE RECORDING ACADEMY_
> 
> _November 2019_
> 
> _Dear GRAMMY Nominee:_
> 
> _It is my personal pleasure to congratulate you on your nomination(s) for the 62nd GRAMMY Awards. The recognition of your peers within the music industry is a significant and meaningful honor that entitles you to proudly wear the title of “GRAMMY Nominee” as you join a select and prestigious group who share the achievement._
> 
> _The Recording Academy salutes you for your accomplishment and looks forward to your participation in the fine work and missions that embody our organization._
> 
> _Warm regards,_
> 
> _Neil Portnow_
> 
> _President/CEO_

“Val?” Her brother was waiting for her to have a reaction but she was still in shock.

She had been nominated for three GRAMMYs. _Three. THREE._

Never in her wildest dreams had she dared imagine she would get such a prestigious nomination. “I’m… I need a moment.” She took a deep breath and shook her head.

“Are you okay?” Guillermo seemed concerned. “Maybe I can leave while you reorganize your ideas and feel what you have to feel?”

That suggestion snapped her out of her daze. “Guille!” Valentina smiled. “¡Lo logré!” She ran to him, bouncing on her heels. “Three nominations!” She screamed in his ear. He hugged her and spun her around the room, both of them laughing with joy.

Suddenly, Valentina felt an overwhelming need to cry. _She had been nominated for the most prestigious music award, but her parents weren’t there to share that joy._

Without realizing it, she let out a sob. She cried on Guille’s shoulder and he held her tightly, rubbing circles on her back and whispering ‘I understand, it’s okay’. He had probably felt the same thing when he graduated from law school, he’d fulfilled his father’s wish, but he wasn’t there to congratulate him, to express his pride, to give him a hug and words of wisdom. She cried for him too.

They stayed in the same position for what could have been seconds or hours, she cried until her sobs morphed into shivers and her nose turned red. Guille stayed put, his strong arms carefully wrapped around her shoulders

Her phone vibrated in her hand.

Eva.

“Eva?” she picked up.

_“Vale, did you see?”_ Eva sounded happy, which made Valentina smile, her sister didn’t show it often but she had a massive soft spot for her little sister.

She nodded but then realized Eva couldn’t see her, “I got the email this morning.”

_“Okay then, why didn’t you answer my calls?”_

Valentina rolled her eyes, “I’m just now waking up! Guille came to see me.” Her brother looked up at the mention of his name. Valentina stuck her tongue out at him.

_“Okay, I was just calling to say congratulations. I’m really proud of you, hermanita.”_ Valentina felt her eyes water again. _“I’m hosting a celebratory dinner for you; come to the house tonight, you can invite whoever you want.”_

“Thank you.” She managed to breathe out. “I’ll see you later.”

_“Love you”_

“Love you too.” She said before hanging up. Guille laughed at her. “What?” she asked, “It’s Eva.”

“Ay, hermanita.” He said with a fond smile.

* * *

“Valdés!”

Juliana looked up; she was sitting under a tree at school; she needed to write down the details of a design she wanted to do next.

It was Rafaela Galano, her career director.

“Hi”, she greeted her. “What can I help you with?”

“I need to talk to you before class, come with me”. She left without even checking if Juliana was behind her.

Juliana picked her things up and ran after the woman.

****

“Take a seat, Juliana.” Rafaela said when they got to her office. “I need to talk to you about something”.

Juliana felt dread pit in her stomach. “Is everything okay?” She paused. “Is there a problem with my scholarship? I talked to the lady from the bank and she told me I didn’t-”

“Everything is fine, Miss Valdés! Better than fine actually”. The woman smiled. “I want to make a proposition to you”.

“Right”. Juliana knew that she couldn’t say no. “What is it?”

“A friend of mine is in need of a fashion designer. Well not a fashion designer, an _amateur_ fashion designer.” Juliana’s heart skipped a beat. “I was looking through my fourth-year students’ files and yours was, well, perfect. I already knew that, of course, but seeing all of your originals together sold me into the idea that it had to be you.” She walked until she was standing right in front of Juliana. “You are one of the most talented pupils this institution has ever had, and I’m sure that you will make us proud.

She took a deep breath before answering. “I am flattered Mrs. Galano, but are you sure I’m the right person for this?” she didn’t doubt herself one bit but she needed to know Rafaela really trusted her.

Rafaela put a hand on her shoulder, “I’m completely sure, your talent is going to get you far, Juliana. Don’t _ever_ doubt it.”

“Okay, well. What’s the assignment?” Juliana smiled at her professor.

“As I said before, this is for a friend of mine, well the daughter of a friend of mine.” She added thoughtfully. “Her name is Valentina Carvajal, you might know her, she’s quite famous.” She’d definitely heard of her, Tina wouldn’t shut up about her. "She recently got nominated for a very prestigious award but she hasn’t been in a good place lately and the press has been eating her alive for a couple of months now and her family fears that might affect her win.”

“And where do I come in?” Juliana asked curiously.

“Valentina’s PR team came up with a very interesting strategy; they are making an international contest.” Rafaela went back to her desk and pulled out a folder with a bunch of pictures. “They’ve contacted several fashion schools around the world; they’re all willing to participate because, who wouldn’t want to dress Mexico’s Princess, the daughter of one of the world’s richest men? Or well, the daughter of someone who used to be one of the world’s richest men.”

Juliana bit her lip. “They want fashion students to dress her? For what?”

“The 62nd GRAMMY Awards.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> coming here quick because i got this done today and i don't know how much free time i'm going to have this week. so have this as an apology for taking so long to update last time.
> 
> and yes, they'll be meeting s o o n 
> 
> as usual, talk to me on  
tw: _julesvaughn  
tumblr: julianavaldcs


	4. cuatro

It had been a week since she was tasked to create three original designs, and she had come up with a grand total of… zero.

In that time, Juliana had already stalked all of Valentina Carvajal’s public social media; she had concluded that the singer mustn’t have a personality of her own! She seemed to only post things about her music, artsy landscape shots and the odd selfie here and there. She was attractive, that was an irrefutable truth, but she really wasn’t helping Juliana with this.

After a couple of days of nothing, Juliana decided enough was enough, she was going to win this thing and no boring celebrity was going to take that away from her.

Juliana grabbed her laptop and opened YouTube, she watched some of Valentina’s interviews, and _ surprise, surprise, _ her way of answering questions was also very plain, it felt like she had an answer prepared for every single question, it was too impersonal to be real. Too perfect.

Groaning, she turned to her last resort, Juliana took all of Tina’s gossip magazines and started to look for any piece of information about her assignment.

And boy was there.

Outside of official social media accounts and perfectly crafted interviews, the woman was quite the problematic figure; she drank like a fish and caused scenes with people at clubs, there were rumors of drug use, and at least three people claiming she had mistreated them at meet & greets because she was drunk.

“Chale,” she said. Now she wasn’t so sure about working with this woman.

Valentina’s episodes reminded her of her father.

Chino was always bad but he got even worse when he had drunk beforehand. Memories of her mother and hers last night in Texas flooded her mind; her father grabbing Lupe and throwing her around their tiny trailer, she could hear her own screams as clearly as she had when it happened.

Juliana shook her head, Valentina looked harmless enough and Juliana was no one to judge.

There was one thing she found useful though, all of the incidents had been on the same place. A fancy club called _ Armoir _. She guessed that was Valentina’s usual place, so she decided that she was going to go and see if she could catch a glimpse of her actual personality.

* * *

* * *

Valentina needed to go out, so when one of her old friends asked to go dancing to her favorite club, she accepted in a heartbeat.

She hadn’t thought about the fact that it was her favorite club because it served the best mezcal in the city though.

She started to go there the moment she turned eighteen. Her ex-boyfriend Lucho had took her there to celebrate and she had fallen in love with the vibe of the place, it was exclusive and classy and it served the best drinks she’d ever had. It was a perfect from all the angles. It had also nurtured her into the path of alcoholism.

But that was before; Valentina was sober now. She’d been so for two months and eighteen days and she didn’t plan to break that sobriety. She was different now.

While on tour, she’d had an epiphany in the form of an alcoholic congestion. Her brother had shown up at the hospital in Barcelona, worried sick and with a whole bunch of A.A. brochures and meeting schedules.

She hadn’t had one drink ever since. The look of terror in her brother’s face had given her the motivation to accept the help she so desperately needed.

Valentina decided to not call her sponsor. She could do this; she was going to stay away from the bar and dance her worries away.

* * *

Juliana dressed herself with one of her earliest designs, it was a simple black dress with some glittery applications, but it held a special place in her heart because it had won her her first perfect grade.

She heard Tina eating chips behind her. “Where are you going?” asked her best friend. “You got a hot date?”

“This is the farthest thing from a ‘hot date’: this is business!” She answered. And maybe she wanted to look nice in the off chance she actually got to interact with Valentina tonight, but her friend didn’t need to know that.

Tina nodded “Okay, what kind of business is it again?” Did this woman ever leave anything alone?

“For the thing I’m working on!” Rafaela had advised her to not share the details of her assignment with her classmates, even if one of them was her (very nosy) best friend.

“Ugh, why don´t you ever tell me anything?” Tina groaned. “We can’t both have boring lives! How am I supposed to live vicariously through you if you never have juicy stuff to share?”

That made Juliana laugh “If you wanted ‘juicy stuff’ you should’ve befriended one of the girls that model for us.”

“You’re right. They’re pretty at least.” Tina paused for a moment. “And I didn’t mean that in a misogynistic way.”

“Dude, shut up! I’m leaving now, okay?” She picked up her phone and keys, “Have a good night and por el amor de Dios, do not throw a party while I’m gone. I still have nightmares of the things I had to do to clean the puke on your hair.”

“Love you too!”

******

Juliana didn’t anticipate that one of the things that made _ Armoir _ so exclusive was the fact that they didn’t let non famous people in.

She stood outside of the club, waiting for the bouncer to take his eyes off the door so she could try to sneak in.

It certainly was not the best plan, but she was desperate! Her deadline for the contest was less than a week away and she needed to come up with the designs and make a sample of each one.

Juliana saw the bouncer move from his place to deal with an altercation between two very drunk celebrities and ran inside as quickly as she could. Nobody noticed the very obviously non famous girl step inside the club.

She’d made it! Now it was time to look for Valentina.

Her little exploration of the place was cut short by a male voice. “Hey, have I seen you around here before?”

Juliana rolled her eyes and replied without even bothering to look at him “I’m one hundred percent sure you haven’t. Goodbye.” She tried to make her way to the bar to see if Valentina was there but of course what’s-his-name wouldn’t give up so easily.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked, standing in front of her.

“No.” She answered sincerely. The man wasn’t bad looking, but he was barking at the wrong tree. Even if Juliana hadn’t ever been in a relationship, she knew she wasn’t interested in men. _ At all. _

He grabbed her by the arm. “It’s just one dance, c’mon!” Alarms went off in Juliana’s head, she tried to look for someone to call for help but no one seemed notice what was going on.

“Look, I’m not-”

Suddenly, a body collided with the man in front of her. “What the hell are you doing?” Juliana took advantage of the distraction and ran towards the restroom, silently thanking whoever had pushed that stupid guy.

* * *

Valentina walked away from her ex, making her way to the restroom in a futile attempt to escape from him. “Lucho, we broke up years ago, I don’t understand why you suddenly want to get back together. You were the one that cheated on me.”

“Yeah, but baby we were so good together!” They weren’t. Lucho had cheated on her with anything that moved ever since she refused to sleep with him a couple of months before she finally had the guts to end their relationship.

Valentina shook her head. “I know why you’re suddenly so interested in me again and I’m going to tell you something: I have way more self-respect than that.” She knew the reason he was so eager to get back with her was her recent status as Grammy nominee.

“Baby-”

“I don’t want to hear it, okay?” She started to walk away from him.

That seemed to anger Lucho, he hated it when Valentina didn’t let him talk. “Fine, just don’t come crying to me when everyone around you realizes how much of a selfish bitch you really are!” He screamed at her, attracting the attention of people near them. “You only use people when it’s convenient for you. I can’t wait until the buzz around your stupid music dies and everyone, even your stupid brother and witch of a sister leave you all alone.”

Valentina felt her eyes fill with tears, “Fuck you.” She whispered as she moved to leave the club.

After she made sure she’d lost her bodyguards, Valentina stepped into the darkness of the night.

* * *

Juliana was just getting out of the restroom when she heard the commotion. _ It was Valentina. _

The singer was arguing with a man just a few meters away from where she stood.

In any other situation, Juliana would’ve been ecstatic to finally have Valentina, the real person, right in front of her. But right now, she felt sad for her, who the hell was this dude? And why did he think it was okay for him to talk to anyone that way?

Juliana didn’t even feel disappointed when Valentina ended the fight and left the place, it was clear she needed to be alone.

She sighed and looked for her phone to call an Uber; there was no way in hell she was going to get back home on bus and she never learned how to use the subway.

There weren’t many near her and she felt like walking anyway, so she set the meeting point to a park nearby, Juliana was confident she could make it in time. As she walked, Juliana couldn’t stop thinking about Valentina’s distressed face, she wondered if the woman was okay. She hoped so. She was about to turn in an alley when she heard the distinct sound of muffled sobbing.Her Uber was less than five minutes away.

She decided to investigate. She followed the source of the sound for a few seconds and was surprised to find Valentina Carvajal sitting on a bench right in front of her, slim shoulders shaking and beautiful face hidden in between bony knees.

Juliana considered her options: she could leave Valentina alone and pretend she never saw anything, or she could ask her if she was okay and try to make her feel better (and maybe get a little inspiration from her).

She decided to stay.

Shaking her head at herself and her inability to leave a distressed person alone, Juliana took her phone out again and cancelled her Uber, the driver had already gotten to the meeting point and _ Jesus _, she would have to pay a cancellation fee on her next trip.

_ Whatever _ , she thought, _ I’m about to do my good deed of the day. _

“Hey,” she said as she approached the woman, carefully sitting beside her. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

Valentina looked up at her and Juliana felt her breath hitch, she’d never seen anyone as stunning as her, even with puffy red eyes and make up running down her face. “I- to be alone.” She sniffed, her normally cheery voice sounded strained.

“Oh, sorry. It’s just… I saw you fighting with your boyfri-” the other woman scrunched up her nose, “that guy and I wanted to… but yeah, you’re right.” Of course Valentina didn’t want to talk to her, she was a complete stranger!

As she stood up from the bench, she heard the other woman call out to her in a small voice: “Wey, no. Perdón.” Valentina breathed shakily. “I think- I think I’m fine.”

Juliana sat down again. “What’s up then?”

Valentina exhaled and rubbed at her eyes with her hand. “I just… I don’t understand people, at all. It’s like I’m from another planet or something, está cañón.” Juliana didn’t know what to say, but she often felt that way herself.

She evaluated her options; she could make Valentina talk about this thing that was clearly bothering her or she could try to distract her and hope to God it made her feel better.

“Your clothes are very pretty.” She stated.

The other woman looked at her with a confused frown. “Thank you.” Then, she scanned Juliana’s body in search of something to compliment.

“Oh, don’t even look at me! This dress is super old and I’m like, too broke for anything else right now.” She said, she knew it wasn’t ugly or else she wouldn’t have worn it, but it certainly wasn’t anything like the things Valentina was used to.

Valentina shook her head solemnly, “Your dress is very nice, you’re quite stylish actually.” She smiled. “It proves money isn’t everything.” She added as an afterthought.

Juliana had an idea, it would either make this situation a lot lighter or get her thrown in jail.

She decided to go through with it. “You don’t care about money?” Valentina shook her head. “Then give me everything you have.” She said with a straight face.

In less than a second, Juliana saw the other woman’s face switch from confused, to scared to surprised. “Hey, I’m joking.” Valentina looked at her in disbelief then looked away and as she started crying again, Juliana reprimanded herself and hugged the other woman to her chest: “It was a joke! I’m so sorry.”

_ Shit, _ she thought, _ this is when she calls the cops and I get jail time for tratar de hacerme la chistosita. _ Tina would love to visit her at the prison, hell she would probably get herself thrown in with Juliana too.

Surprisingly, Valentina didn’t call the cops. She just laughed, clearly amused with Juliana’s ill-timed joke.

“Valentina,” She said, graciously holding out her hand for Juliana to shake.

She did: “Juliana.” It seemed like her joke had had the desired effect, Juliana felt like all the pressure on her shoulders had suddenly dropped.

And as Valentina suggested they went on a little walk, Juliana thought that, maybe that Uber cancellation fee was worth it after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's good y'all? what did you think of their first meeting?¨
> 
> chat w/me at _julesvaughn on twitter and julianavaldcs on tumblr


	5. cinco

Valentina had been about three seconds away from breaking her sobriety when this odd girl interrupted her.

The girl, who she later found out was named Juliana, sat with her and made her laugh as she was fighting to keep herself together.

Now, they were taking a midnight stroll through the dimly lit park. “I just feel like people aren’t real, you know?” She wasn’t one for deep talks with people she had just met, but Juliana inspired a kind of trust she’d never experienced before. It felt warm and, for once in her life, free of judgement.

“Yeah, you’re right.” In the fifteen minutes she’d known her, she had found out Juliana wasn’t much of a talker. It seemed that she preferred to listen. But even if she’d just met her, Valentina could tell every word Juliana said had meaning.

She sighed. “It’s just… everyone always wants something from me. Sometimes I wish I could just be left alone. Everyone in my life suffocates me, I feel like I’m drowning.” She hoped it hadn’t come out as whiny as she felt it did, the last thing she wanted was to make Juliana think she was another spoiled kid, so privileged she could afford to think like that.

Juliana was silent for a moment, she seemed to be carefully choosing her words. “I think we all have days like that, you know? And… that’s super valid. But, even if we just met, I feel like the world needs you. Like, I just get this sort of vibe from you, I can tell you make everything better” She said with a gentle smile.

Valentina felt an overwhelming need to hug the girl in front of her, so she did. Juliana looked at her, clearly surprised and with an adorable blush that was visible even in the faint light of the streetlamps.

She decided to spare her the embarrassment. “I’m starving, did you have dinner already?” She asked. “I know an awesome place a dos cuadras, ¿quieres venir?” That was sure to be a long shot since, one: it was nearly midnight, and two: they’d just met. In reality, Valentina just wanted an excuse to keep talking to her.

Juliana clicked her tongue. “I didn’t! I figured I would go home and eat whatever was left of my roommate’s enchiladas.” Valentina tried to hide the disappointment that was rapidly building up on her stomach. “But your idea is a lot better. I’ve lived here for almost four years and my culinary experience consists exclusively of my best friend’s weird traditional food experiments and the McDonald’s down the street from uni.”

Valentina was intrigued now, “You’re not from here?”

“I was born and raised just outside of San Antonio.” Juliana shared, she seemed apprehensive now.

_That must be a sore spot for her_, Valentina made a mental note: not talking about her past. Or not yet at least. 

“Anyway, we should go! The owner, Doña Clau, makes _the best_ chilaquiles you’ll ever have.” She felt Chivis’ disapproving glare all the way from her family home. Whatever, it was the truth.

Juliana smiled, seemingly into the idea. “Sure!”

******

Juliana sat across from Valentina Carvajal in a homey little restaurant.

She would never have imagined that someone like Valentina would ever step a foot into a place like that. It wasn’t like the place was ugly or unclean, or that Valentina gave stuck up rich kid vibes -like many of her classmates did-, it was just, she didn’t realize both of them could physically exist within in the same reality, let alone the same vicinity.

Right in front of her, the very physical form of Valentina smiled awkwardly at her. “So… um, what are you majoring in?” _Please don’t ask that._

“I guess you could say I’m an artist?” she trailed off, silently hoping Valentina wouldn’t ask her to elaborate.

“Oh! That’s awesome, what do you-?”

“What’ll be, Vale?” The sweet lady owner (and cook?) came to Juliana’s rescue

“Chilaquiles de los más picantes que tengas, please.” Valentina smiled at the woman. Juliana could swear the room got brighter.

“Will your friend want the same, cielo?” Doña Clau looked at her now; she had white hair and big square glasses, the laugh lines on the sides of her bright brown eyes gave her a sort of playful air around her. But what captivated Juliana’s attention the most was the maternal aura that followed her.

Juliana realized she took a long time to answer. “Yes, I do. Valentina told me you make the best stuff around here.”

The woman smiled fondly at the other girl. “Did she now?” Valentina nodded solemnly. “Such a charmer this one, isn’t she?” It was Juliana’s turn to nod. “Okay I’ll go get your food ladies, make yourselves comfortable.”

The restaurant didn’t have any patrons at this hour; it was only them sitting on one of the tables in front of a window that overlooked what Juliana thought must be a very crowded street in the day. She could imagine parents walking their kids to school and the loud noises of CDMX’s never ending traffic.

“Very nice isn’t it?” Valentina’s voice shook her from her thoughts. “I found this place one time I was hungover as shit. Lucho —the guy I was fighting with— dragged me to the club to celebrate some stupid thing I can’t even remember now; point is, he left me behind to go to an afterparty with his idiotic friends,” she rolled her eyes, “I think I passed out on the club and when I woke up, it was almost morning, my head was killing me and my phone was dead. I saw this pace was open and said ‘why the hell not’ Clau was here and she ‘welcomed me to the land of the living’, gave me her magical food and some really good black coffee. I’ve been coming here every chance I get since”

Juliana smiled at the story, the bits and pieces of Valentina’s life she kept getting were so goddamned endearing she felt stupid for ever thinking she was a bland celebrity with no personality.

Before she could ask for more details on Val’s story, her phone rang. It was her insufferable best friend.

Juliana looked apologetically at her companion. _“Hey, asshole.”_ Said Tina immediately after Juliana picked up.

“What do you want? I told you I was busy.” She knew she was being rude but she’d been enjoying her time with Valentina so much she really didn’t want anything to cut their meeting short.

She heard Tina let out an exasperated sigh on the other side of the line. “_Juli I have some great news. You need to come home!_” Her friend said enthusiastically.

Valentina looked quizzically at her when she rolled her eyes and shook her head. “T, I’m in the middle of something right now, okay? I’ll be home later.”

“_Juliana Valdés, you’re coming home right now and I don’t care if you’d rather have your tongue deep down someone’s throat than being here. You’ve got half an hour!_” And with that, she hung up.

Juliana groaned, should she be a terrible friend and stay with Valentina or go home and see what was Tina’s news?

She didn’t have to make a choice, though. “Do you need to go?” Asked Valentina with an understanding smile. “It’s totally fine if you do. I could take you home? Well, my driver could take you home.” She rambled nervously. It seemed like she was stuck in the same predicament as Juliana: she didn’t want to stop talking to her.

“Vale here’s you girls’ food, mi amor.” Doña Clau came out of the kitchen with their chilaquiles and two steaming mugs of coffee.

“Thank you so much Clau, but I think we’ll have them to go. I’m so sorry.”

Clau shook her head profusely and said “It’s alright, love. You girls shouldn’t be out this late.” The old woman gave them a sweet smile over her shoulder and went back to the kitchen.

Juliana turned to look at her companion. “Valentina I’m so sorry, I really-”

“No, don’t worry. It’s late and I dragged you here” The woman gazed at her with an understanding look in her face. Juliana noticed the soft light of the room gave Valentina’s eyes more depth, she felt intimidated and comforted at the same time by the blue staring back at her.

“For the record, I would have loved to stay, but this must be really important if Tina is so desperate for me to come home, she usually begs me to go out. Says I’m too boring.” She frowned.

Valentina laughed heartily, amused by Juliana’s admission. “I don’t think you’re boring at all! In fact, I think you’re great.”

Juliana felt an easy smile grow in her face. “That’s good. I mean I’d hope so since you’re offering me a ride home.”

“You’re the one that tried to rob me! How do I know you’re not actually gonna do it this time?” Valentina joked with her. The playful glint in her eyes made Juliana feel a pang in her stomach.

They kept looking at each other until Clau came back with their food on take out containers.

Valentina hugged her and kissed her cheek as she gave her a few bills to pay for their food. Clau patted both their cheeks and ushered them out the door, telling them to be safe and telling Valentina to bring Juliana back soon. “Preferably when the sun’s out, okay?”

*****

The walk back to the park was silent for the most part. After they left Clau’s place, Valentina insisted to wait for Juliana’s Uber with her.

She’d initially offered to have her driver take her home, but Juliana refused because 1) she was totally capable of getting herself home, and 2) she didn’t think it would be beneficial to have Valentina know her address.

Juliana always felt awkward when other people and her stayed silent for more than a few seconds, but with Valentina, she found she didn’t feel like she had to fill the silence with meaningless conversation like she often did with people she’d just met.

“You don’t like going out?”

That brought her out of her thoughts. “What? Oh I- no, most of the time I prefer to stay in and binge watch some _Bon Appétit Test Kitchen_ or whatever trashy reality show it’s on.” She admitted, hoping it didn’t sound as lame as Tina made it out to be.

Valentina laughed, shaking her head. “I do that too!” _God, can she be any more perfect?_ Juliana didn’t think so.

Just as she was trying to come up with something to say, a car parked right in front of them. Valentina stood upright and placed herself in front of Juliana’s body.

The driver rolled his window down and asked: “Any of you needed an Uber?”

Juliana nodded. “Yeah, I-”

Valentina cut her off right before she could finish her answer. “Who are you supposed to be picking up?”

The man looked at his phone to read the name. “Juliana?”

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Valentina turned around and hugged Juliana. “Be safe, alright? You make everything better too.”

Juliana smiled up at her and rubbed at her shoulder with her thumb. “I will, don’t let your idiotic ex-boyfriend near you again.” And with that she got in the car.

*****

She felt her roommate grab at her the moment she stepped into her apartment.

“Juls, you won’t believe this!” Tina screamed in her ear. Juliana felt like all the air was forcibly squeezed of from her lungs by how hard her friend was hugging her.

“Wey, I can’t breathe! What’s going on?” she asked. Tina released her, with a huge grin on her face.

“She gave it to me!” She squealed.

Juliana was confused. “¿Qué? Who gave you what?”

“Rafaela gave me the show: I’m going to be directing it!” she threw herself at Juliana again. “I’m so happy, I thought my designs were shit!”

Juliana’s brain took a second to process the new information. Tina was going to be directing this year’s winter fashion show.

She laughed happily and hugged her friend back. “That’s amazing, T.” Juliana shook her head, if there was anyone who deserved this it had to be her friend. “How did you find out?”

Tina ducked her head shyly, which was the first time Juliana ever saw her do it “I got an e-mail, but I thought it wasn’t for me, ‘cause remember how you lost that one bet and we made those almost identical prank e-mail addresses? Well, I called Rafaela; I was going to tell her she got it wrong, but she told me it _was_ me!"

Juliana hugged her again. While Tina was an amazing designer, she often felt dubious of her own skill, it frustrated her, how she was the cockiest for almost everything except the very thing she loved.

“I’m going to take you out to celebrate tomorrow, okay? Think of whatever place you’d like to go. Even if I hate it.”

Tina’s eyes widened.

“You have all night to think. I’ll see you in the morning, superstar.”

*****

As Juliana got ready for bed, a million ideas for her assignment showed up in her mind.

Her fingers itched to draw them, so she did.

She went to retrieve her sketch pad and a pencil, thinking about Valentina Carvajal’s lithe figure and the impressive shade of blue of her eyes.

“Sorry for thinking you were a fake bitch.” She apologized to the Valentina in her head. “I’ll make some damn good clothes for you, though.” Juliana shook her head at herself.

She yawned after a few minutes of drawing, she knew it would take her all night to finish sketching, but she felt like these were going to be some of her best creations yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took almost a whole month, yes i know i suck
> 
> yell at me on  
tw:_julesvaughn  
tumblr: julianavaldcs


	6. seis

“Hey, um, my name is Valentina.” She cleared her throat. “And I decided to come here today because I had a particular experience last night. I uh, I’ve been sober for almost three months and-” a man in the front row cheered, his enthusiastic response so early in the morning irritated Valentina for no apparent reason. “Thank you. As I was saying, I don’t know if you’ve heard of me, but I make music. I’d been on tour since march and… being away from home was hard.” Valentina took a deep breath. “I think I’ve struggled with alcohol for most of my life. I’m pretty sure I had my first drink my at cousin Karla’s quinceañera when I was ten. I hate beer so much you people wouldn’t believe it, not strong enough; mezcal is my usual, I guess I like it so much ‘cause it gets me out of my head, but as you all know, the relief doesn’t last long.”

Her head felt fuzzy, she didn’t like being the center of attention if she wasn’t performing, that was the reason she rehearsed all her public appearances. 

“I decided to go to my usual place, I’d convinced myself that I was not going to drink. I didn’t, by the way. But there was an incident; my ex-boyfriend was there and we said some stuff to each other.” She closed her eyes, the image of Lucho’s sneer clear in her mind. “I guess he got to me because the next thing I knew is I was sitting alone in some park at midnight. I’m not proud of this but I almost went to the liquor store because I _really_ wanted a drink. Well, I’m pretty sure I would’ve eventually, but this girl came up to me.” Valentina smiled, remembering how hesitant Juliana had been when she approached her.

“At first, I thought she was going to ask me for an autograph or something, but she didn’t; she made me laugh and feel a lot better about myself. She told me something that’s still clinging to my mind. She said I make everything better, and that the world needs me. Who says that to a stranger?” the crowd listened intently, all apparently fascinated with the way Valentina told her story.

Valentina shook her head, why would she say all of this to a group of strangers? She concluded it was oddly comforting to vent knowing no one had all the information and they weren’t going to judge her. She’d been to a couple of A.A. meetings before (Eva had made her); once in Spain, right after the incident, and once in Colombia a few weeks later. Valentina hadn’t said anything on either, she had been too busy counting the seconds ‘til she could leave.

“I- she sort of made me want to, I don’t know, actually try to get better for me and not for other people. Before, I had been trying for my siblings, because they were so worried when I almost died and I didn’t want to scare them again. Ju- the girl made me think about myself.” The memory of Juliana’s quiet reassurance made Valentina’s heart jump in her chest. “Which I know sounds weird, because who doesn’t take themselves into consideration, right? I didn’t, my life has been about what other people want for years. I guess I gotta learn how to make my life about myself? I’ll work on it. Thank you.”

The crowd clapped at her speech, many thanking her for her ‘inspiring’ story. The rest of the meeting passed in a blur for Valentina.

She got out of the building to wait for Alirio when she saw them.

“Shit.”

There were at least three vans parked on the other side of the street with people holding cameras, presumably trying to get a perfect shot of Valentina Carvajal, the alcoholic, leaving Alcoholics Anonymous.

Valentina took her phone and called Alirio. “Hey, um can you maybe pick me up on the other side of the building? There’s a few vultures trying to get pictures of me.”

“Of course, miss.” Her driver answered.

“Thank you, ‘Lirio.” She hung up, turning around to go back into the gym the meeting was held at.

“Your speech was powerful.” A voice said to her left.

It was the overtly enthusiastic dude from before. Valentina held her purse tightly against her body, she wasn’t in the mood for whatever this was. “Thank you.” She said.

“I would agree or disagree with you, but I swear I can’t remember a single thing I said.” She shook her head at herself. It was true, the only memory that came to her mind was her anxiety from the minutes before she had the courage to say she wanted to talk, and then the feeling of relief when it was finally over.

The man smiled at her and outstretched his hand to her. “Enrique.”

She looked at him suspiciously and shook his hand. “Valentina.”

Valentina was generally good at meeting new people and making friends, but lately (ever since she became an orphan), her social skills had taken a hit. She didn’t connect with people the way she did when she was younger and sometimes the mere mention of socializing made her want to become a hermit and live off the land.

Eva had told her to grow up and Guille told her to call him whenever she felt like that. It was obvious which one of her siblings she’d go to in the event of a crisis.

“Where are you going?” Enrique asked.

Valentina didn’t trust him enough (or at all) to answer that, so she kept quite and made her way to the back side of the building.

“I’m just trying to make conversation; I swear I’m not a creep.” He said jokingly.

Valentina shook her head. “I’m not in the mood for whatever this is ok? You seem like an okay dude but I’m not interested and I really need to go.”

“I-” The sound of Valentina’s phone made him stop whatever babbling he was going to do.

She picked up gladly and stepped away from the man. _“Miss Valentina?”_ It was her now favorite driver.

“Alirio!” She answered cheerfully.

“I’m right by the corner on the street behind the gym, I didn’t see any of those vultures you mentioned; I think you should come ahora que está tranquilito.” Valentina craned her neck to look in the direction Alirio said and saw him wave at her.

She waved back: “Muchas gracias, Alirio!”

Alberto (Ernesto?) waked up to her and tried to get her attention again. “Hey-”

“Goodbye, Emiliano!” She said as she walked to her car without bothering to look at him.

* * *

“Ya wey, no te hagas del rogar.” Tina rolled her eyes.

Juliana shook her head. “¡No me estoy haciendo del rogar! I just thought that I’d take you to your favorite restaurant or something, I didn’t think you’d want to go to a strip club. You literally can’t stand nudity, how are we gonna go there like that?” She couldn’t understand her friend, for all her brave talk, Tina was even more of a prude than Juliana herself. “Look, I’ll even take you to the fancy ass club I sneaked into last night.”

The brunette raised her eyebrows. “Oh yeah, you never told me what you went there for. I’m listening.” She looked expectantly at her.

“I was looking for inspiration for my end of the year assignment.” _It’s not a_ _lie,_ she told herself.

“Your what?” Tina’s eyebrows reached her hairline now. “We turned them in like two weeks ago.”

“Yeah, well, Galano gave me a special assignment, something she couldn’t take care of herself; you know how she is sometimes.” Not really a lie, she reasoned.

Juliana always had a hard time hiding things from her best friend, they were so close that they really didn’t have anything to hide. Tina was the person Juliana turned to when the Lupe incident happened. It’d been over three years since it happened. And she still didn’t feel ready to talk about it.

Her friend snorted. “That’s what you get for being the favorite.”

“Whatever, do you want to go to the club or what?” Juliana decided to change the subject, since she felt like if they continued with the current one, she’d end up digging her own grave. “Or we can go to Marquez’ karaoke night. It’s on Saturdays, right?” Tina’s eyes lit up. Her friend’s curly hair wobbled as she nodded enthusiastically. “Okay then, what time do you want to go?”

The shorter girl seemed so gauge her options. “Hm,” she said, “nine-ish?”

“Sure.” Juliana didn’t even think it twice, considering what her best’s friend’s first option had been.

* * *

Valentina really couldn’t catch a break.

“Valentina Carvajal, would you care to tell me who the hell is this tipejo you were caught with outside of A.A.?” Her sister fumed at her.

The paparazzi had seen her, after all; there were dozens of pictures of her and that Alejandro dude all over the internet, calling her a drunk and him her next boy toy, which was ridiculous because 1) she barely knew him and 2) her only public boyfriend ever had been insufferable Lucho.

She regretted going to the meeting so suddenly, without a plan, but she had felt like it was the right thing to do the moment she woke up. She had felt like sharing her story with someone, _anyone_, and since she didn’t have Juliana’s number, she thought a group of people struggling with the same problems as her was a good replacement.

She wasn’t so sure now, though, Eva was usually insufferable, but now that she had “messed up”, her sister felt like she needed to lecture Valentina even more than she usually did.

“Look, Evangelina, I don’t know him, I was waiting for Alirio and he came up to me. I graciously told him to fuck off but he wouldn’t listen, that’s it.”

Her sister’s green eyes scanned her face. “I don’t believe you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t care.”

“You can’t go out until further notice.” She decided.

Valentina’s blood boiled. “No! It’s not my fault that those idiots followed me! Eva, I’m trying to do better, how am I supposed to get better if I can’t get help?” She asked desperately.

“You have us, me, Guille, we’re going to help you!” She screamed in Valentina’s face.

“You can’t help me! I need professional help, someone to tell me what to do. You guys are supposed to be my support system.” Valentina was crying now; she didn’t understand why her sister cared more about her image than her health.

Eva seemed to consider what she was implying and said: “Well, then, you have Camilo, he’s a doctor.”

Valentina shook her head. “He’s like my family, I don’t feel comfortable talking about my alcohol problems with him.” He had changed her diapers for god’s sake!

“We’ll get you a new therapist, then, just don’t get into more trouble, okay?” Her sister conceded. “I hate to see you like this, hermanita_.” Not as much as I hate feeling like this,_ she thought. “Try to keep a low profile until the announcement,” she took a deep breath, “it’ll be on the tenth, the designs will arrive on the twenty-third, you gotta choose before the twenty-eight, and we’ll publicly announce the winner on New Year’s Eve.” She explained.

Valentina almost forgot about the damn contest. She guessed it was nice having someone choose her outfits, she liked clothes, but she apparently sucked at choosing red carpet looks, as she’d been called a fashion disaster many times before. She only hoped those fashion students knew what they were doing.

“I’m gonna go now, Vale, please be good. I love you.” Eva kissed her forehead and got out of her apartment, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

“Shit. What am I going to do today?” She asked herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for taking a whole month so update, but i've been a lil distracted :(
> 
> ooof y'all, i forgot to tell you that the story is gonna have more than 10 chapters since i keep adding to my outline.. so yeah
> 
> anyways, i hope y'all enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> yell at me on  
tw: _julesvaughn  
tumblr: julianavaldcs


	7. siete

_“Si para enamorarme ahora_

_Volverá a mí la maldita primavera_

_Que importa si_

_Para enamorarme pasa una hora_

_Pasa ligera_

_La maldita primavera_

_Pasa ligera_

_Me hace daño solo a mi”_

Juliana was so drunk that she agreed to sing a song by herself.

She refused to even stand close to the stage every time her friend and her went to that bar. Today was different, though, she had decided to rebel a little and celebrate the fact that she was about to graduate and also that her best friend was a genius. The moment she entered the bar, she thought of the perfect song for her first time on stage. And honestly, it’s not like she could relate to whatever_ Yuri_ was feeling but, damn did it make for a good performance.

Her head was spinning, but she was having so much fun just jumping around the stage and belting out the wrong lyrics to a classic she didn’t want to stop, ever. Maybe this was why Valentina did this for a living, the energy coursing through her veins right this moment was maddening.

Thinking about Valentina made her heart race. Her encounter with the singer had made her feel things she couldn’t describe. She didn’t think it was natural to have such strong feelings towards someone you just met. Maybe that was the reason so many people were falling at Valentina’s feet.

Speaking of, she saw Tina in the front row, cheering while trying to harmonize with her made Juliana smile, she loved her friend so much.

_“Sí, para enamorarme ahora_

_Volverá a mí la maldita primavera_

_Que importa si _

_Para enamorarme basta una hora_

_Pasa ligera la maldita primavera_

_Pasa ligera, _

_Me maldice solo a mí”_

This was her mom’s favorite song; they used to sing it together every Sunday while they had breakfast. They waited until Chino left to turn on their old radio and tune in the frequency of an old Mexican music station. They played_ Maldita Primavera_ at 8:43 am every Sunday, _sin falta._

They did that back when they lived in a foreign country where they didn’t know anyone and there weren’t secrets between them, and Juliana felt like her mom would love her unconditionally. No matter how “messed up” she was or how sinful her lifestyle was.

She remembered the shame she was made to feel, her mother’s last disappointed look before she left the house they’d made theirs after moving to Mexico, and the heavy feeling in her chest after the door closed behind her.

She spaced out for a little while after finishing the song, the only times she allowed herself to dwell on her mother’s rejection were when she was intoxicated, that was the reason why she loathed alcohol, it made her feel like shit, and remember all the bad things she’d been through. Her friend knew she got like that sometimes, and today wasn’t the exception, perceiving her mood, Tina told her she’d go fetch some water bottles for the two of them.

Juliana felt incredibly grateful for her friend’s patience, so she decided to cook her a nice breakfast in the morning, completely disregarding the fact that she didn’t know how to fry an egg without help, she wasn’t Lupe. And it wasn’t like her mother hadn’t tried, she had taught her how to be the ‘perfect housewife’, just like she was to Chino. Juliana was exceptional at everything but cooking, it was too boring for her, not even the prospect of a good meal made the process appealing to her.

“Hey, Juls, can you hold this for me? I want to sing a Timbiriche song before I sober up.” Tina said, handing her two water bottles.

She didn’t even let Juliana answer her when she was already running to the stage, ready to sing her heart out to a song that came out years before she was even born.

Juliana snorted, even drunk her knew sober Tina was going to die of embarrassment if anyone saw her ‘haciendo el oso’.

* * *

Valentina was about to fall asleep on the car.

They were on the way to the talk show she was going make the announcement in. Eva had woken her up stupidly early that day, claiming that everything had to be perfect. Valentina hadn’t said anything, too busy thinking about a melody she’d came up with earlier; she was eager to go back to her apartment and play it on the piano to see how it translated from her brain to actual sounds.

“Miss Valentina, do you want me to turn the radio on?” Alirio asked her, he had noticed her dozing off in the passenger seat.

“No, I’m fine.” Valentina shook her head; she wanted to keep the melody fresh in her mind and if she heard another one it might mess everything up.

Alirio nodded and stopped at a red light.

Valentina looked out the window, they’d been driving past Parque Lincoln; she remembered her mother used to take her there when she was little, they spent entire days just walking, her mom would tell her stories about her own childhood and buy her a raspado if she was good.

The sight of a familiar figure walking down the same path she used to stroll in with her mother cut her train of thought.

“Juliana.” She said to herself.

Alirio turned to her. “Excuse me?”

“No, um, I was- It’s no-” she shook her head, Juliana stopped to hand out a flyer to a lady in a big red coat. The traffic light turned green. “Alirio, please park here, I need to talk to someone. I’ll- I’ll be right back.”

-

Juliana was handing out flyers for her school’s End of The Semester Fashion Show, which she found absolutely ridiculous since it was in three weeks, nobody would remember to go if they handed them out this early.

_Whatever_, she thought, it was Tina’s idea and she wasn’t about to question her. The morning after their karaoke shenanigans, her friend had woken up with a mission: to direct Galano’s most iconic fashion show in history. Juliana had agreed to help her however she could, not realizing what she was getting herself into because she was busy nursing the worst hangover she’d ever had.

“Señorita.” Someone said behind her.

Juliana jumped so high she swore she could see the tops of the trees around her. “Fuck!” She yelped, turning around to _mentarle la madre a_ whoever had scared her like that.

Her anger vanished the moment her saw playful blue eyes staring back at her. “Hi.” Said Valentina, giving her a wide smile.

“Hey,” she smiled back, “you scared me!”

Valentina smirked down at her “I know; you squealed like a dying pig.” Juliana stuck her tongue out at the taller woman.

“Where have you heard a dying pig?” The little laugh Valentina let out made Juliana’s chest fill with warmth. “What are you doing here?” She asked, Valentina didn’t seem like the type to take afternoon walks through the park.

“I’m on my way to…” she seemed to consider her answer “a work thing. I saw you and I had to come say hi.”

Juliana’s stomach fluttered, Valentina’s smile did things to her she couldn’t even begin to comprehend. “That’s cool,” she hated being so awkward, “how did your night end the other day?” Juliana was genuinely curious, she always wondered what famous people did in their free time.

“I- well would you believe me if I told you I went to sleep right after I got home?” the taller girl shrugged, Juliana felt her sincerity, she was glad that Valentina hadn’t turned to alcohol in her desperation. “What about you?”

Juliana shook her head, remembering her weird weekend with her even weirder friend. “My roommate had some really good news and I decided to go out with her to celebrate the next day, and God, that was a mistake.” She recalled “Nos pusimos una peda… you don’t want to know. The hangover lasted until yesterday. And we’re doing some stuff at Uni, so I hate myself right now.”

“Oh, I’ve had those” Valentina said tilting her head to the side, she looked like a puppy with her wide blue eyes. “I discovered honey with salt and a glass of tomato juice work really well as remedios para la cruda.”

“I’ll make sure to use that if I ever get drunk again!” she nodded, mentally listing the items Valentina had just mentioned, “I don’t think I ever want to drink again though.” Juliana said seriously.

Valentina let out a breathy laugh. “Good call.”

Juliana didn’t want their conversation to end, so she mentally went through all their conversation topics and interactions from the day they met. “I had Clau’s chilaquiles for breakfast the other day.” They had been great. She’d woken up very late the morning after their first meeting because she stayed until very late sketching the designs for Valentina’s outfits. The chilaquiles had been heavenly, even when she had reheated them.

“Did you like them?” Asked Valentina, biting her bottom lip, like she was nervous about Juliana’s answer.

“Yes!” She gave her a toothy smile; Valentina mirrored it instantly. “They were really good. I almost went back for more when I was done. But it didn’t feel right going there without you.”

That got a sweet laugh out of the other girl. “I’m glad you enjoyed them.” They stared at each other for a few seconds before Valentina spoke again: “I think -well I’ve got to go now, but um, would you give me your number?” she asked nervously “We can grab a coffee or something. Pa’ platicar.”

Juliana didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but she really wanted to keep in touch with Valentina. “Sure, I’ll write it on your phone and you can text me.”

The taller girl nodded, handing her an immaculate phone with a simple pastel blue case. She typed her phone number and read it many times after to make sure it was the right one.

“Thanks, Juls.” Valentina said after. “I’ll text you later.” The brunette gave her a tight hug and kissed her cheek.

“Bye.” Juliana whispered.

* * *

Valentina was deciding whether or not to text Juliana.

She really, _really_ wanted to, but she also didn’t want to seem overbearing. She’d never felt this need to get to know someone, it was odd. But somehow, Valentina knew Juliana and her were meant to become friends. She just hoped the other girl felt the same.

“Miss Carvajal, your make up is done” the make up artist told her.

Valentina needed to rehearse the answers she was going to give to the interviewer. They were mostly going to talk about her upcoming projects and her nominations, Val was going to announce the contest at the end.

She looked at the girl and thanked her for her work, earning astonished smile and a flushed goodbye.

Lots of people were surprised when they met her and she treated them like human beings. It was ridiculous in her opinion, most of her “bad girl” rumors were fake or totally taken out of context, she was only mean to people who actually deserved it, never fans or people who worked for her.

“Vale,” _Eva_, “I’m glad you’re ready, the interview will start in thirty.” Her sister appeared out of nowhere. She looked particularly chipper that day, her green eyes shined brightly, and her smile was so beautiful that Valentina found herself missing her happy, loving older sister. She felt something tug at her heartstrings, she wanted Eva to be happy again.

Her sister made a surprised noise when Valentina suddenly hugged her, leaning down to rest her chin on her shoulder. “Valentina, are you okay?” She asked as she patted Val’s back comfortingly.

“Yeah, I just wanted a hug.” She said.

Eva shook her head with a fond smile. “Okay. This one’s going to be easy, okay? We made sure to leave out questions about your, ahem, little problems. The main topic is going to be your next album, which I’m sure you already knew. As usual, you can answer however you want… solo no digas tonterías por favor.” Her sister took a piece of paper out of her bag. “here are the questions. The interviewer’s name is Alexa; I talked to her already, and she seems okay. She asked me if you could perform a song but I told her no since they didn’t tell us beforehand and I know how much you hate-” Valentina cut her sister’s rambling off.

“I’ll do it.” Eva looked at her like she had grown another head. She usually hated when she had to do spontaneous things, but she felt like rebelling against her own customs today. “I can sing Holy; I never really performed it on a show like this.”

The older woman seemed to consider it but ultimately agreed, “Okay, do you want Alirio to go pick up your guitar?” Valentina shook her head.

“It’s actually on the trunk of the car, I’ve been carrying around for some reason.” Eva rolled her eyes. _Of course._

-

The interview went smoothly, Valentina had answered every single question calmly and just like she’d rehearsed them. It gave her a sense of control.

Now it was time for the grand announcement. “I heard you have some exciting news regarding your Grammy outfits,” the interviewer mentioned with a wide smile.

Valentina smiled back, though a little less big. “Yeah, my team and I have been working on a little something involving a couple of fashion schools from all over the globe.”

The interviewer’s expressive eyebrows flew up. “¿En serio?” 

“Yes! We wanted some fresh ideas and we thought this would be a fun way to get them. I’ve been disconnected from fashion for the longest time so I think it’ll be great to have someone new helping me out. Sorry Óscar.” Óscar was her stylist, he was one of the people that came up with the idea, so she knew he wouldn’t mind the little dig.

“And what’s the dynamic of the contest?” Alexa asked with interest.

“Well, we got in touch with the fashion institutes and asked them to have their best student design three outfits for me, I’ll be picking the winner on New Year’s Eve.” She explained, hoping that she hadn’t forgotten anything.

“That’s super exciting!” Alexa was really enthusiastic.

Valentina nodded, she had to sell this to get the media off her back. “I’m pumped to see everyone’s submissions, I’m sure they’ll be amazing.”

The interview concluded with her giving a short performance and with the public’s applause, it gave her a rush like no other; knowing that people liked her music almost as much as she did.

-

As soon as she got home Valentina was reminded that Christmas was in barely two weeks when she saw an invitation for Camilo Guerra’s holiday party.

She used to love this season when she was a kid. But as an adult, she didn’t really see the point in being festive when she didn’t have anyone to celebrate with. Her siblings both had partners and spent the holidays with them. It’d been her and a bottle of mezcal for the past three years. 

But since she was making all these spontaneous decisions, she opted not to break her streak.

Valentina dialed the newest number saved to her contacts. “Hey, it’s Valentina. How good are you at Christmas decorations?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's y'all's early christmas gift lol
> 
> i made some structural changes and took out the chapter titles 'cause i fucked up my original outline :( 
> 
> anyways, this bouta get spicy! please tell me what you think in the comments or yell at me on  
tw: _julesvaughn  
tumblr: julianavaldcs <3


	8. ocho

Juliana had been searching for the perfect fabric for Valentina’s dress when her phone rang.

She laid on her stomach in her room’s floor, browsing her favorite fabric store’s catalogue. She needed to find the right shade of blue silk for her design.

She had studied the clothing Valentina usually wore in formal events and she wasn’t really impressed with what she saw. It seemed that all of Valentina’s previous stylists had a personal vendetta against her; they dressed her with colors that didn’t exactly match, designs that clashed horribly with each other and ugly shoes that did nothing to salvage her looks. But somehow, Valentina managed to pull every single one of those disasters off.

One thing she’d also noticed was that Valentina often seemed uncomfortable in those clothes, she almost always wore pieces that looked itchy and stiff, Juliana wondered if she’d like her options. She had imagined the other woman wearing the designs she had in mind and decided they actually matched her personality, or what she had seen in of it in the short time she’d known her. The version of Valentina she had in her head looked ridiculously good in a suit, _huh, maybe…_

She shook her head.

If she was being honest, Juliana was a little frustrated with the singer for being so enchanting, the mere thought of her had distracted her from her task since the start.

She picked up the phone with a frown, no one ever called her but Tina, and she was busy picking the models that would walk the runway on the show. “Hey, it’s Valentina. How good are you at Christmas decorations?” Juliana shook her head in disbelief, she didn’t think Valentina would contact her so soon. Her stunned silence must have made the woman on the other side of the line doubt herself. “Uh, is this Juliana? I’m sorry; she must’ve given me the wrong number.” She muttered sadly.

Juliana’s heart broke at the other girl’s defeated tone. “No, it’s me!” she said before Valentina could hang up. “I was just surprised.” She excused herself.

“Oh, I’m sorry” Juliana could almost see Valentina’s shy smile “Maybe I shouldn’t have called. Is this a bad moment?” It kind of was; Juliana needed to order the fabric right now or it wouldn’t arrive on time for her to finish the samples on the day they were requested.

Still, she decided to reassure her friend. “No, no, no, I wasn’t really that busy. I’m just doing some school stuff.” _Not entirely a lie._ “What is it about Christmas décor?”

She heard Valentina sigh in relief. “I wanted to invite you to my apartment. I just- I suddenly got into the Christmas spirit and I don’t know how to decorate my house, and since you said you’re an artist… I figured I could ask you for some help.” She said in one breath.

Juliana didn’t think she was physically capable of saying no to Valentina, even less so when she sounded so adorably hopeful, so: “Sure,” she agreed “Just send me a text with your address and I’ll be there soon.” Juliana was sure she could have heard the squeal Valentina let out all the way from her apartment without her phone.

“I’ll text you!” she heard Val said when she recovered her hearing.

She nodded, still a little dumbfounded. “See ya.” she said before hanging up.

Then, the reality of her situation hit her. She’d agreed to go to _Valentina’s house_. Juliana didn’t think it was an ethical thing to do, since she would be getting too involved with her client, maybe they could disqualify her for her closeness to Val? She didn’t want to stop seeing Valentina, but she also didn’t want to disappoint Rafaela.

“Ugh,” she lamented “why am I such an idiot?”

* * *

Valentina awaited Juliana’s arrival anxiously. She didn’t know why she was so uneasy, all of her past interactions with the other girl had gone swimmingly.

Maybe it was the fact that they would be meeting at her home, she didn’t know if Juliana was aware of her ‘celebrity’ status, she sincerely hoped she wasn’t. Juliana treated her like a person, she didn’t act like she had to accommodate Valentina, or like she was sure Val was a diva, and she really liked it.

Her phone buzzed with the notification of a text.

**_Juliana_** **😊**

_I’m outside :D_

Valentina felt a smile grow on her face

** _Valentina _ **

_I’ll go pick you up!_

_DO NOT MOVE_

_<3 _

She took her keys and entered the elevator, pushing the lobby’s floor button.

Valentina spent the entire ride down bouncing excitedly on her heels, she knew she’d just seen the other girl, but she really wanted -no, _needed_\- to spend more time with her.

When she finally arrived, it wasn’t hard to find her friend.

“Hey!” she went for a hug as soon as she stepped out of the elevator.

Juliana smiled up at her and returned the hug. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here, you know?”

Valentina’s heart did a happy jump in her chest, “Of course I did! I couldn’t wait to see you.” She admitted. Juliana smiled again and bit her lip.

They stood there for several seconds, just staring at each other until someone else entered the building and walked past them, the man was talking on the phone with an annoyed expression. Juliana and Valentina looked at each other with matching grimaces, silently agreeing to not go in the elevator with him.

“C’mon” said Val, taking Juliana’s hand “Let’s take the stairs.”

-

Valentina led her up what seemed like an infinite set of stairs.

It felt like they’d been going up for hours and she was actually kind of dying.

“Val,” she stopped for a moment, wheezing a little as she tried to catch her breath “can we take a breather?”

The other girl looked at her with worry in her eyes “I’m sorry, we should’ve just gotten in the elevator.” She said, regretfully.

“No! it’s fine I just didn’t know you lived in a building with as many floors as the _Empire State_” Juliana jumped to reassure her. “I just needed a sec.”

Valentina still looked apprehensive, so Juliana took her hand and began leading her up the stairs again.

Her hand was bigger than Juliana’s, and somehow, almost as calloused. She reckoned it was because Valentina played the guitar, it seemed to be her favorite instrument to play (not that she knew that because she had watched every single performance of hers she could get her hands on).

They walked in silence until Valentina couldn’t seem to stand it anymore. “Well, those were the stairs.” She informed Juliana with an awkward smile, a harsh contrast to the confident Valentina she’d seen mere minutes ago, or the one that had called her a few hours ago, almost demanding her presence.

Juliana laughed “I can see that.” The other woman blushed prettily and Juliana patted herself on the back for lightening the mood. “Are you going to give me the tour of the whole place?” She asked as they stepped into the luxurious penthouse.

“Yeah,” Valentina said as she led Juliana to a comfy looking couch, “though I’m pretty sure it’ll last like, ten seconds. There aren’t many things to see in here.” She frowned. “I don’t really spend much time here, so it’s pretty empty.”

Juliana felt a little creepy about it, but she knew. It was so weird having all this knowledge about Valentina when she barely knew her name, and it made her feel bad as their friendship progressed, she dreaded the moment she had to come clean about her actual line of work, and the real reason she’d met her that night.

She decided not to worry about that right now.

Juliana smirked up at her. “I like minimalism.” Valentina mirrored her smile. “Well, where do you stay then?” she asked, curiously.

Of course, she knew that. When Val wasn’t in her expensive Ciudad de México apartment, she spent weeks, or months, in other places all over the country. Her Instagram pics revealed a slight bias to Tulum, where she seemed to escape to whenever she didn’t have any commitments.

“The beach! I love it, that and I can’t stand the cold.” Valentina mimicked a shiver. “It’s just… the worst; I must have like really thin skin or something cause I can’t ever warm up. It’s freaky, and super annoying.” She pouted. “When I was a kid my dad used to love taking us on ski trips; my siblings loved them, but I couldn’t even go outside, so my mom stayed with me. Eva, my sister, hated it when she did that, said I “hoarded” mom. That changed, though, when mom died and Eva sort of started to mother me, maybe a little too hard.” Juliana listened to her intently, mesmerized by the way Valentina trusted her enough to share that amount of information with her. “And… I went way out of topic.” She said sheepishly.

God, why did she have to be so goddamned endearing? “It’s okay, I like hearing you, your stories are very interesting.”

Valentina scrunched up her nose “I highly doubt that, I’m like, the least eloquent person you’ll ever meet.” The biggest liar, she meant. Juliana had listened to her songs; the other woman could make taking out the trash sound deep and poetic. Also, she liked how into the stories she got, even the other day, when she told Juliana about her dick of an ex-boyfriend treated her, she’d put a lot of real feelings to the tale.

“I disagree.” She said with a cheeky smile.

Valentina rolled her eyes, “Whatever.” She stared at Juliana for a couple of seconds, then, she seemed to remember the actual reason she’d called her in the first place. “I was doing stuff, I felt like being spontaneous and then I remembered I’ve never actually celebrated Christmas here, so I don’t know, I wanted to get into the spirit.”

“Okay,” Juliana nodded, “there’s just one thing, though.” She put on a straight face “I’ve never done Christmas décor either.” She laughed.

Valentina’s smile got bigger, if that was possible. “We can learn together, then!”

* * *

While she waited for Juliana, Valentina had gone through her storage room and realized that she had zero Christmas stuff, not even a solitary ornament, she chastised herself for her nonchalance on the most wonderful time of the year and sent Alirio to the mansion, in search of spare decorations.

He’d come back with a whole Christmas tree and four boxes full of colorful ornaments and lights, he even brought her her old stoking from when she was a child.

“So,” Juliana looked at her with narrowed eyes. “you have all this, but you’ve never used it?” she sounded skeptic.

“I borrowed it from my dad’s house.” She shrugged.

The other girl held her gaze for a few more seconds and went back to inspect the contents of the boxes.

They’d already set the tree, or well, _Juliana_ had set the tree, and now, they were looking for the lights, Valentina could swear she’d seen them in the second box, but they were nowhere to be found.

“I swear I saw them there, right beside that embarrassing picture of Eva as Santa!” she exclaimed.

Juliana’s face when she looked at her could only be described as the human representation of a question mark. “Whaaaaaat?” she asked.

Valentina chuckled at the memory of her sister’s sour face the day they took those pictures. “It was Christmas time when I was like… eight? Yeah, we used to do Christmas cards, even though no one here does that” she shook her head, still laughing, “I think Eva was the one that made us do them. Anyway, she decided that we were going to dress as Christmas-y characters, a reindeer, Santa, an elf and an angel. I’m pretty sure she wanted to be the angel, but I also wanted to be the angel, so dad made all of us draw papers with the character’s names from a hat, said it was only fair.”

Juliana gave her an amused look, guessing where the story was going.

“Well, neither of us got the angel, my brother, Guille, did. Dad was the elf, I was the reindeer and Eva, poor sixteen-year-old Eva, was Santa. Her soul almost left her body when she read it.” The other girl laughed at the mental image, even if she’d never met Valentina’s sister before. “I wasn’t even sad I didn’t get the character I wanted; little me was too entertained seeing Eva with her fake belly and beard. She hated every second of it, but she was too proud to say anything.”

“Your family sounds interesting” Juliana said after they controlled their laughter.

Valentina rolled her eyes with a fond smile. “You have no idea.”

They settled into a comfortable silence as they kept decorating the apartment, Valentina shared more stories about herself and her family, and Juliana listened intently to every single one of them, she took in every detail of Val’s narrations, it made her feel heard, like she was really important.

She wanted to feel like that forever, but she also wanted to make Juliana feel like that, too.

“What do you usually do for the holidays?” she asked her, curiously.

Juliana froze mid chocolate bite; they’d gotten hungry after hours of going around carrying boxes and moving things over their heads, Val didn’t have any real food in her pantry, but she had many sweets her fans sent her weekly on the mail. She told Juliana to grab whatever she wanted. The other girl had zeroed on the jumbo-sized chocolate bars a fan from Brazil had sent her.

“Uhm, like I said, I don’t really do Christmas.” She shrugged. “Growing up my family didn’t really have the funds for it y’know, and well, now I don’t either. My friend and I buy one gift for each other and that’s it.” She tried to sound nonchalant but Valentina could feel her uneasiness.

She’d noticed Juliana deflated every time her family was brought up, so she decided to let her set her pace and boundaries, not wanting to scare her off or push her too far.

“Maybe we can make this a tradition?” she asked, hoping it wasn’t too much too fast (even though she knew it probably was).

The corners of Juliana’s mouth twitched up. “Are you sure you want to go through this again?” She asked with one of her perfectly sculpted eyebrows raised.

“Of course!” Valentina took one of Juliana’s hands between hers and held her gaze. “You made this fun.”

A smile grew on the shorter girl’s face, as well as a blush. Valentina noticed she had a single freckle on her cheek, it made her dimple look more pronounced, and the sight of it made Val feel warm.

“You’re so… argh.” Juliana covered her eyes with her hands.

Well, that was interesting.

Valentina tilted her head to the side. “I’m what?”

“You’re-” an upbeat ringtone broke the bubble they were in. “It’s mine.” Juliana got up from her place on the floor and walked in circles while she talked on the phone.

Valentina looked at her very festive apartment. There were multi colored lights hanging all over it, the tree looked amazing, with many different shaped ornaments and photos scattered around it.

She spied her snowman stocking almost falling off the couch and decided that was unacceptable.

As she walked towards it, she heard Juliana finish her call. “Val?” she said, “I need to go.” 

“Noooo.” She pouted. “We’re having _so much_ fun!”

Juliana gave her a lopsided smile, “My friend was worried, I never stay out so late on weekdays.”

Valentina frowned as she took out her phone and saw what time it was. It was nearing 3am. “Shit” she said, “Time really flies when you’re having a good time.”

“It does” Juliana agreed. “Um, I’ll call an Uber. I’m sure it’ll pick me up soon.”

Over her dead body. “Oh no, missy. You’re staying here. There’s no way I’m letting you go anywhere at this hour.”

“Val, ya estoy grandecita, no-” Juliana began.

“Val nada, ándale. I’ll get you some pajamas.” Valentina said, leading the younger girl towards her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what this is but,,, i hope you enjoyed it
> 
> talk to me on  
tw: _julesvaughn  
tb: julianavaldcs


	9. nueve

Juliana woke up to the sound of soft snores and the weight of an arm encircling her waist.

She was laying on her back with Valentina on her side. The other girl slept peacefully against her with one arm around Juliana and the other one under her head.

Juliana turned to look at her. Valentina’s beautiful face was relaxed, void of the worries it reflected when she was awake; her brow was smooth, nose adorably scrunched and lips slightly parted. It was safe to say Juliana was entranced. She couldn’t understand how someone could be so _magical_ just by existing.

Valentina stirred in her sleep and Juliana decided she needed to know exactly what time it was. She could tell it was already morning by the beams of light coming from the window. She blindly reached for her phone on Val’s night stand, where she remembered putting it last night. It read 10:47am. _Huh_, she thought, _I didn’t think I’d sleep that much._

She felt Valentina move again, but this time her eyes were open. They looked bluer than she’d ever seen them, and somehow, softer. The other girl gave her a tired smile, making Juliana’s heart flutter in her chest without her permission, it seemed to be doing that a lot recently. A part of her knew what it meant and how this could only end in heart break for them in the long run, but the other, softer one, didn’t care.

“Are you hungry?” asked Valentina in the most endearing sleepy voice Juliana had ever heard.

Juliana thought for a second, she was hungry, but she reasoned that she shouldn’t stay overstay her welcome. “Um, I have some stuff to do today.” Not a lie, she really had to go back home, she had another sketching session to go.

She knew changing her design this late into the contest was stupid, since her original one had already been approved by Rafaela, but last night, as she and Valentina traded stories about their childhoods and got to know one another better, Juliana had been hit with the perfect design and couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Valentina’s face fell. “Are you sure?” she asked dejectedly.

“Yes.” Juliana grimaced.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Go on, then, leave me!” Valentina said dramatically while Juliana just stared at her fondly.

“I’m going!”

*

Juliana’s trip back to her apartment was as uneventful as ever.

She got home before noon, quietly taking her coat off and carelessly dropping her keys on the table beside the door.

“Well, hello to you too.” Juliana heard her roommate greet her from the couch.

Juliana sighed, readying herself for the inquisition that was about to happen. “Hey, T. how was your night?” she gave her friend the most charming smile she could muster.

“I think I should be the one asking that.” Tina grinned back, wiggling her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. “Who did you spend the night with?” she pried, “Oooh, was it Ramiro? Or Camargo, no wait, Pepe from the fabric store!” Juliana couldn’t believe her friend was that invested in her love life.

She rolled her eyes fondly. “None of them.” Juliana scrunched up her nose, she had way better taste than that.

Tina bit her lip pensively, then, her expression morphed into one of horror: “Oh god please tell me it wasn’t _Xavier_.” She fake gagged. “_No mames_, Juliana, I’m gonna barf.” Tina shivered exaggeratedly.

“I wasn’t with anyone… like _that_!” Juliana shook her head. “It was a friend; I was helping her with some stuff and… we lost track of time.” She explained. Her friend didn’t look convinced. Juliana rolled her eyes. “We were decorating her place.”

Her friend nodded skeptically. “Who was it, then?” she asked again with bright green eyes that made it almost impossible for Juliana to hide anything from her. Still, Juliana couldn’t exactly tell her.

She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t drag her friend into this mess. Maybe if Juliana hadn’t impulsively befriended Valentina and lied to her, it would’ve been safe for her to rant to her best friend about these confusing feelings she’d developed for the singer seemingly overnight. Talking about said feelings with her friend seemed wrong now, like she’d somehow tainted them with her omission of the truth.

“A girl I met on the park.” Juliana said, swiftly making her way to her room to avoid any more questions.

* * *

The days leading to the deadline of the contest were the most chaotic of Juliana’s 21 years of life.

She worked relentlessly on the outfits she came up with. The first week was spent cutting and sewing every piece of fabric to perfection, making sure her designs actually matched the images she had in her head. Then, after they were done and Juliana had inspected every little detail to an obnoxious degree, she went to Rafaela and announced she was done.

The older designer scrutinized Juliana’s work with a critical eye that had her sweating for a couple of minutes, only to beam at her when she was done. “I’m really proud of you, Juliana.” She said, giving her apprentice’s shoulder a fond squeeze and taking the designs with her, presumably to the hand them in to the Carvajals’ team herself.

Juliana started to breathe a little bit easier after that. She felt like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

She hadn’t physically seen Valentina since their impromptu sleepover, as they’d both been busy with their responsibilities, but that didn’t mean they didn’t text, or FaceTime every time they could. They spent hours talking about miscellaneous topics, they went back and forth discussing which Hogwarts houses they belonged in (‘Juls you’re _definitely_ a Hufflepuff’ ‘No I’m not! I’m a Gryffindor. _You’re_ a Hufflepuff.’ ‘Nah, I’ve taken that quiz before, I’m a Ravenclaw.’ ‘Ugh’), they sent each other the most absurd memes they could find, but they also discussed serious things like how Valentina was going to see a new therapist, and how Juliana was thinking of seeing one too.

At home, she’d barely seen her friend the whole week; Tina had been working non-stop for the show, spending all her time at the studio with the people participating on the show. She’d asked Juliana to submit a design, but Juliana said no, she already had her hands full with Valentina’s clothes, so she didn’t even consider it before politely refusing her friend’s request.

Juliana was peacefully watching _Avatar: The Last Airbender_ while she ate a bowl of sugary cereal in her Powerpuff Girls pajamas when her phone rang, it was a FaceTime request from Valentina. “Shit.” She said when she spilled some milk on herself. She quickly got up from her place on the floor and placed the bowl on the coffee table before accepting the request.

“Hey!” a beaming Valentina greeted her; she wore a white beanie that covered half her face.

She looked so cute Juliana couldn’t help but grin back. “Hey yourself.” Juliana angled her phone so Valentina didn’t see the mess her apartment had turned into.

“I have a proposition for you.” The brunette said. Juliana froze, that sounded interesting. She decided to answer by raising one of her eyebrows questioningly. “Okay, so, my uncle -well, he’s not exactly my uncle… he’s more of a- ugh, _my uncle_ is throwing this Christmas party on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me.” Valentina smiled nervously.

“Um, me?” she asked, already uncomfortable with the idea of going to meet all those rich people.

Valentina visibly deflated, “Yes, you.” Juliana picked up on the dejected way she put a lock of hair behind her ear. “I just- I haven’t seen you in like over a week, and we’ve been talking so much… I want to see you, like, in person.” The brunette rambled.

Juliana didn’t think that was a good idea. She obviously wanted to spend more time with Valentina, but the more they got to know each other and the more trust Valentina put in her, would make the reveal of the real reason why she had befriended her more hurtful when it finally came.

Still, Juliana didn’t have it in her to reject the other girl. “O kay, Val” she agreed.

Her friend brightened immediately. “Really?” she playfully squinted at Juliana through the screen.

“Yeah, Val, of course.” _Welp! __Ya estás comprometida, no te puedes hacer güey,_ Juliana told herself.

If possible, Valentina’s grin grew. “Okay! I’ll text you the details later. Bye, Juls.” Juliana could only sigh in agreement.

* * *

Juliana didn’t like shopping for clothes. In fact, she abhorred it.

Well, maybe that was an exaggeration, but she strongly disliked it. People thought it was weird that she didn’t like it since she had such a strong interest in fashion, but it wasn’t about the clothes, not really. Like many of her problems, it was a direct product of growing up in poverty. When Juliana was younger, she never got to go shopping, not with friends, and certainly not with her parents. They just never had the money for it, so she’d grown up mostly wearing hand-me-downs from some of the older kids at the trailer park. 

It was a very specific kind of trauma that made her feel guilty for treating herself with seemingly frivolous things such as clothing. So, she just avoided it at all costs.

That was why she was initially reluctant to accept Valentina’s invitation to go shopping for an outfit for Camilo’s party. But, Valentina, being her usual stubborn self, had persuaded her (annoyed her) into accepting and just going with it.

“C’mon, Juls, I promise we won’t be here long.” Valentina tugged Juliana along through the crowded mall. Juliana didn’t think a celebrity like Val would go to such a public place without any kind of security.

“Fine,” Juliana nodded, “what kind of party is this again?” she asked. Valentina hadn’t really said anything about the theme, or if there was a theme. Juliana was nervous about the party; she wasn’t that good with large groups of people and she was even worse with large groups of _rich_ people.

Valentina seemed to carefully consider her answer, which absolutely terrified Juliana. “It’s not going to be formal, but it’s not casual either?” she frowned, “Camilo is a bit… odd, eccentric, even.” The brunette explained, “The guest list is probably just a couple of his doctor friends and my family; Guille, Eva, and Mateo. Huh, maybe Eva will bring little Emma along.”

That didn’t sound so bad, maybe she didn’t have to worry so much.

After taking a deep breath, Juliana smiled at her friend. “That sounds nice.”

“Yeah” Valentina smiled back. “Well, sort of.” She winced, “My family can be kind of intense -especially Eva-, but they have good intentions …for the most part.”

Juliana hadn’t met the eldest Carvajal yet, but, judging by Valentina’s angry rants and the couple of articles about the Carvajal’s she’d come across, she was a force to be reckoned with.

“So… what are we looking for?” Juliana asked curiously.

Her friend shrugged carelessly. “Let’s make it a surprise for everyone.” Valentina winked.

“Even for us?” Juliana chuckled back.

Valentina’s smile gained a mischievous glint, “_Especially_ for us.”

“Okay, miss-” _“No mames!”_

A girl a few years younger than Juliana squealed next to them. She wore an oversized sweater that Juliana vaguely recognized as part of Valentina’s merch (Tina had an identical one), and the biggest smile Juliana had seen in her life.

“Hey,” Valentina smiled politely at the girl, “can we help you with anything?”

The girl blushed from her neck to her ears, Juliana could relate to her reaction to Valentina’s general existence. “I’m sort of a big fan of yours,” the girl explained, “and I would very much like it if you’d let me take a picture with you. No pressure, though.”

Valentina nodded in understanding, “Sure,” she said. Juliana took that as her cue to distance herself a little, she was sure she wasn’t included on the request.

After a couple of selfies and a short video for the girl’s friends, Valentina returned to her side. “I’m sorry about that.” She said quietly.

Juliana shook her head immediately. “It’s okay, she looked very excited to meet you.”

Valentina gave her a slight smile. “Did you already know?” her posture was stiff, arms wrapped tightly around herself, almost like she was shielding herself.

“I knew from the moment we met.” Juliana said honestly. “My best friend kind is kind of in love with you.” She explained as softly as she could. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either.

Her friend nodded, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Juliana took a deep breath, choosing her words carefully, “Because you didn’t either. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Valentina looked into Juliana’s eyes, probably searching for a sign that told her the other girl was lying. She looked away a moment later, apparently satisfied with what she’d found.

“C’mon,” she grabbed Juliana’s hand. “I’ll show you my favorite store.”

*

Valentina had gone back to her bubbly self after they got to the store, chatting the staff up and disappearing into the fitting room, urging Juliana to do the same and try out the clothes she’d chosen for her.

Juliana didn’t know where to begin. The collection Valentina had chosen was very diverse, ranging from a short black dress with a piece of fabric hanging from the left side, to a beautiful red dress with a bold thigh slit. She decided to try the black dress first.

“Lookin’ good, Juls.” She heard her friend say when she stepped out of the fitting room.

Juliana turned to look at her almost instinctively and the sight that greeted her knocked the air out of her lungs. Valentina was wearing black slacks and a white lace top that clung to every curve of her body perfectly.

“I- um, you look amazing, Val” she stammered dumbly.

Her friend gave her a shy smile and walked up to her, grabbing her hand and twirling her around to get a better look at her. The brunette’s eyes traced the contours of Juliana’s body, lingering on her backside and- woah was Valentina Carvajal really staring at her ass?

“I was thinking that I should wear a blazer on top of this, what do you think?” Valentina asked her, but didn’t wait for an answer before speaking again. “Or I could wear a leather jacket.” She added contemplatively. “I don’t know, Juls.”

“I think you should go with the leather jacket.” Juliana stated, “You said it isn’t _formal_ formal, no?” Valentina nodded. “You’re going to look fantastic.”

The brunette winked at her playfully, “C’mere, we gotta find some shoes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, i know this chapter is super boring, but it needed to be done. that's kind of the main reason why it took so long to write. that and the fact that i was swamped with schoolwork, but thanks to miss 'rona i have lot of free time now.  
next chapter will be the party and things will pick up from there, i promise.  
as always, you can talk to me on tw (_julesvaughn) and tumblr (julianavaldcs)


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